


What if Edna Mode Had a Mullet

by Kogane Cocaine (KeyCreations)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Depressed Keith, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Memes, No Plot, Not Canon Compliant, Texting, a lil mystery to keep u goin, and characters, broganes, groupchat fic, ill add tags as i go, lots of swearing, sad keith, squad fic, these r the best things to write, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-02-05 13:33:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12795651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeyCreations/pseuds/Kogane%20Cocaine
Summary: [Animeprotagonist]has added[kitkathrine], [lotwhore], [0110011], [hunkalovin], [bootyshorts], [dadvoice], [melaninmom],and[jazzhands]to the chatlate night thoughts with keith[hunkalovin]:who wants ramen?





	1. Ramen the streets

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE THIS IS GOING AND ITS SO OUT OF IT 
> 
> first chatfic lets do this 
> 
> keith lance hunk = 18  
> pidge = 16  
> allura matt shiro = 22
> 
> ull probably get it but 
> 
> animeprotagonist - keith  
> bootyshorts - lance  
> 0110011 - matt  
> kitkatherine - pidge  
> dadvoice - shiro  
> melanin mom - allura  
> hunkalovin - hunk  
> jazzhands - coran  
> lotwhore - lotor

_**[Animeprotagonist]** has added: **[kitkathrine], [lotwhore], [0110011], [hunkalovin], [bootyshorts], [dadvoice], [melaninmom],** and **[jazzhands]** to the chat_ _**late night thoughts with keith**_

 

_4:27 am Nov 20_

**[animeprotagonist]:** Guys 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** guys 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** respond holy fuck 

 

**[kitkathrine]:** keith its 4 am and as much as I love u I was actually trying to sleep for once 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** sleep is for the weak child 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** OK THAT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER RIGHT NOW THEYRE MAKING INCREDIBLES 2 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJDMWVZta3M

 

**[bootyshorts]:** WHAT 

 

**[kitkathrine]:** THANK U FOR WAKING ME UP HOLY SHIT 

 

**[kitkathrine]:** iVE BEEN WAITING 14 YEARS FOR THIS 

 

**[0110011]:** Pidge u were TWO get out of my way 

 

**[kitkathrine]** : -_- 

 

**[kitkathrine]:** I’m going to sleep 

 

**[0110011]:** just the boys now 

 

 

**[0110011]:** guys? 

 

_7:16 am_

 

**[Hunkalovin]:** E D N AM O D E IS COMING BACK 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** keith thank u so much fr sharing this 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : :) 

 

**[melaninmom]:** Shiro we’re going on premiere night no buts

 

**[dadvoice]:** I’ll preorder the tickets 

 

**[melaninmom]:** thank u sweetie

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** I know i have to live w this but y did it have to follow to the chat 

 

**[dadvoice]:** well when 2 ppl r in lovehgjkdfls;asjfkd

 

**[hunkalovin]:** shiro? 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** u good?

 

**[melaninmom]:** Keith came into the room and is currently sitting on him 

 

**[melaninmom]:** they'll be back shortly

 

_9:54 am_

 

**[bootyshorts]:** so uhh

 

**[bootyshorts]:** last night i wasn't rly payin attention but

 

**[bootyshorts]:** lotor??? keith srsly 

 

**[lotwhore]:** I dont know what you are suggesting but I can tell there is annoyance in your voice and I hope you will reconsider your words 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** KEOTH OGMYGOFD LOTWHORE 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** no but rly do u see how he fuckin texts im crying 

 

**[lotwhore]:** düüde what the fääck u can’t do that to me this is ma space this is ma ärea

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** I see where I may have gone wrong 

 

**[animeprogatgonist]:** sorry lotot ill see u in psych

 

_**[animeprotagonist]** has removed **[lotwhore]** from the chat_

 

**[kitkathrine]:** id like to go back to lances earlier message

 

**[kitkatherine]:** keith y the fuck did u pic our names like this

 

**[kitkathrine]:**  SHIT Y CANT WE CHANGE THEM 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** ur not the only 1 who took some coding classes 

 

**[kitkathrine]:** keith I can hack into ur phone right now and leak ur nudes 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** pls do

 

**[dadvoice]:** pls **_dont_**

 

**[0110011]:** katie i hate to tell u but 

 

**[0110011]:** u cant harm keith 

 

**[0110011]:** he is shameless 

 

**[0110011]:** once i tried to him make him do my chem hw by saying id post his twt handle on the school website and he didn't fukcin budge 

 

**[kitkathrine]:** fuck 

 

**[jazzhands]:** what is…so horrifying about my boy keiths twitter?

 

**[0110011]:** click this _@krypticlovers_

 

**[dadvoice]:** coran no 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** coran no 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** coran no 

 

**[kitkathrine]:** coran yes 

 

**[jazzhands]:** oh

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** im not ashamed 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** keith you literally have an entire account dedicated to ur romance with mothman 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** this is how i feel y cant u just support me 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** “he wrapped his large moth wings around me and we flew away from this horrible world together.”

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** i..see

 

_**[kitkathrine]** changed the chat name to **according to all known laws of aviation a mothman should not be able to fly…**_

 

**[kitkatherine]:** i learned how to change the chat name 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** take that moth boy 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** I also locked it so sucks fo u 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** fuck you 

 

_3:54 pm_

_**[bootyshorts]** > **[animeprotagonist]**_

 

**[bootyshorts]:** keeeeeeeiiiiiiittttttthhhhhh 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** y u no here? 

 

**_according to all know laws of aviation a mothman should not be able to fly..._ **

**[bootyshorts]:** guys keith aint in class anybody seen him 

 

**[dadvoice]:** lance its monday 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** ohhh

 

**[bootyshorts]:** fuck sorry i forgot 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** ill bring his work by after class 

 

**[dadvoice]:** thanks 

 

 

_5:01 pm_

 

**[hunkalovin]:** anyone wanna go out tnite? 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** ooh a new ramen place opened up and im so down to go

 

**[bootyshorts]:** im in 

 

**[melaninmom]:** im driving 

 

**[dadvoice]:** she's driving 

 

**[0110011]:** I have a fucking phil project due i might swing by l8r

 

**[kitkatherine]:** language!

 

**[0110011]:** english.

 

**[bootyshorts]:** keith u comin? 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** yeah

 

**[dadvoice]:** we’ll be at urs in 10 lance

 

**[dadvoice]:** b ready 

 

**[0110011]:** fuc phil pick me and katie up after

 

_5:20 pm_

 

**[bootyshorts]:** keeth i can see ur greasy hair from the 8th floor

 

**[bootyshorts]:** take a shower 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** its been like 5 days 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** mfhgkjd l8r

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** anyone wanna watch coco after dinner? 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** this is literally the best idea uve ever had 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** no no n o omg uv been planning this since u saw the trailer lance u said ud watch it w ur siblings 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** ILL REWATCH IT 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** I must be there when keith is exposed to my culture 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** i took 3 years of spanish??

 

**[bootyshorts]:** SCHOOL MEANS NOTHING 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** as much as this is true i gotta interrupt 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** where tf r u guys 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** u were at lance and hunks like 15 minutes ago and we do not live that far away 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** lance is locked in the bathroom 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** he said he was getting ready but he's been texting the entire time 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** exCUSE U i am almost done 

 

**[011011]:** im almost done w my project its been so long 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** no im legit starving hurry up 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** I CANT STARVE HUNK IM COMING 

 

**[dadvoice]:** we’re on our way 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** thank fuck 

 

**[melaninmom]:** keith and lance r snuggling and it is sickening 

 

**[011011]:** ALLURA U R DRIVING 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** matt u dont even understand 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** shes texting w one hand and holding shiros w the other

 

**[hunkalovin]:** how is she even looking at the road 

 

**[melaninmom]:** id just like u to know i passed my driving test just fine and have never crashed in the last 5 years 

 

**[0110011]:** PUT THE PHONE DOWN 

 

**[dadvoice]:** i took it from here we’re good 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** anyone wanna explain what the 5 yrs thing was cause we all know allura had her license a year before that 

 

**[jazzhands]:** thats a story for another day number 4

 

**[kitkatherine]:** #4

 

**[kitkatherine]:** ARE U SAYING KEITHS FINALLY SHORTER THAN ME 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** HEY I AM NOT 

 

**[jazzhands]:** oops my mistake

 

**[jazzhands]:** clicked the wrong number 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** fuck 

 

**[0110011]:** ha gremlin 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** im gonna strangle u 

 

**[dadvoice]:** pidge dont kill matt we’re down stairs

 

**[bootyshorts]:** finna get som ramennnn 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** finally 

__


	2. Boba babes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall idk I totally lost this fic somewhere along the line and never got around to adding more so heres some random stuff that i started back in november and just got around to finishing omg the year has been hectic. also yes im a sucker for voltron in voltron aus 
> 
> Happy 2k18!!

_Nov21_

 

_3:14 pm_

 

**[bootyshorts]** : im doING iT 

 

**[0110011]** : lance we’ve been over this 

 

**[0110011]** : pls dont tell us every time 

 

**[bootyshorts]** : oh oH GOD NO

 

**[bootyshorts]:** NO NOT THAT

 

**[bootyshorts]** : IM GETTING MY FUCKING EARS PIERCED 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : um ok wait

 

**[bootyshorts]:** DONT WORRY PIDGE WE’RE COMING TO PICK U UP RN

 

**[kitkatherine]** : u better be 

 

 

_3:45 pm_

 

**[hunkalovin]** : so. lance is scared 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : anyone got words of encouragement

 

**[melaninmom]** : it doesn't hurt! 

 

**[melaninmom]** : at least i dont remember 

 

**[melaninmom]** : I was 2 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** thanks allura…

 

**[melaninmom]:** sorry 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : no but it actually doesn't hurt 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** just tell em not to count down 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : then u think its worse

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** and get balls not jewels cuz its easier fr the first month 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** balls not jewels 

 

**[0110011]** : same shit 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : i didn't sign up fr this 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** thanks keith! 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : np 

 

**[bootyshorts]** : MOTHERFUCK

 

**[dadvoice]** : u good? 

 

**[melaninmom]** : earrings hurt?

 

**[bootyshorts]:** nah those r fine 

 

**[bootyshorts]** : rly cute check snap 

 

**[bootyshorts]** : but 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** DID U KNO 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** they're releasing a jumanji 2 

 

**[jazzhands]** : no 

 

**[bootyshorts]** : yeS

 

**[kitkatherine]** : damn its from coran time 

 

**[jazzhands]** : 1995 IS NOT OLD 

 

**[melaninmom]** : i mean we all saw it sooner or later 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** YES EXACTLY

 

**[bootyshorts]:** aND THE ROCK IS IN IT 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** oh fuck 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : the rock 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : we gotta see it 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : ok

 

**[hunkalovin]** : idk what this movie rate is going at but

 

**[hunkalovin]** : we went to coco. bought incredibles. and r gonna see jumanji

 

**[hunkalovin]** : were gonna fcukin go broke 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : this is v tru

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : we’re already broke 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : this is v tru 

 

**[bootyshorts]** : screw that these movies r essential 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : do u remember the rock with hair 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** wild times 

 

**[0110011]** : remove mental image 

 

**[bootyshorts]:** hunk whatt the fuck

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : too far dude 

 

**[bootyshorts]** : keith shut up look at ur mullet 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : heY we were on the same side a sec ago

 

**[bootyshorts]** : only I can diss hunk 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : um 

 

**[dadvoice]** : moving on guys 

 

**[dadvoice]** : keith i kno u have a test tmro

 

**[dadvoice]** : go study 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : fine mom

 

 

 

_5:37 pm_

 

**_[animeprotagonist]_ ** _changed_ **_[jazzhands]_ ** _name to_ **_[nigelthornberry]_ **

**[nigelthornberry]:** … 

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** i uhh

 

**[bootyshorts]:** hoooolllllyyyy shiitttttt

 

**_[animeprotagonist]_ ** _changed_ **_[bootyshorts]_ ** _name to_ **_[sokka]_ **

 

**[sokka]:** no 

 

**[sokka]:** i look nothing like him??

 

**[hunkalovin]:** sorry man 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** im w keith on this 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** if it makes u feel better hes totally zuko 

 

**[sokka]:** it 

 

**[sokka]:** it kinda does 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** HEY 

 

**[daddyvoice]:** sorry man 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** fuck

 

 

 

_9:21 pm_

 

**[kitkatherine]** :They opened up a new boba place on alton

 

**[kitkatherine]** : meet in 20

 

 

 

_9:40 pm_

 

**[sokka]** : pidge wru

 

**[kitkatherine]** :in line 

 

**[sokka]** : w/o me!?!!

 

**[kitkatherine]** : its legit out the door

 

**[kitkatherine]:** u can wait at the end if u want 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : allura and shiro r already here 

 

**[sokka]** : fuck ok 1 sec 

 

**[sokka]** : hunk hurry tf up 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : Im literally rite next 2 u 

 

**[sokka]** : u still responded on text 

 

**[sokka]** : square up 

 

**[kitkatherine** ]: gUYs Hurry Up 

 

**[sokka]** : shut up gremlin 

 

 

 

_11:49 pm_

 

**[melaninmom]** : thanks for the boba katie! 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : np ;) 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : *:) 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : no. stop. im trying to win her heart. 

 

**shiro** : …

 

**[kitkatherine]** : fuck. abort.

 

**[dadvoice]** : nah id try too. 

 

**[dadvoice]** : thanks fr paying pidge 

 

 

 

_Nov 22_

 

_2:14 am_

 

**_[dadvoice]_ ** _> _ **_[animeprotagonist]_ **

 

 

**[dadvoice]:** keith 

 

**[dadvoice]** : keeeeiithhhh

 

**[dadvoice]** : I kno ur awake I saw u active on tumblr 

 

**[dadvoice]** : Im coming over 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : no

 

**[dadvoice]:** yes 

 

**[dadvoice]** : u weren't at boba today 

 

**[dadvoice]** : U didn't respond in the chat 

 

**[dadvoice]** : Im comin over 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : no 

 

**[dadvoice]** : we can watch kimi no na wa together 

 

**[dadvoice]** : please 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : fine 

 

 

_2:44 am_

 

 

**[sokka]** > **[kitkatherine]**

 

 

**[sokka]** : hey 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : y r u awake tf

 

**[sokka]:** i was jus thinking 

 

**[sokka]** : y wasnt keith at boba tday

 

**[kitkatherine]** : ifk man i dont think he was feeling too good earlier 

 

**[sokka]** : like in a has a cold way or the other 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : other 

 

**[sokka]** : fuck 

 

**[sokka]** : :( 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** its ok shiro said he wz heading over 

 

**[sokka]** : okay 

 

 

_6:07 am_

 

 

**_Late night thoughts with keith_ **

 

 

 

**[animeprotagonist] _:_** hey bitches 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : whos up 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : hola 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : i just finished my run

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : wanna go to starbucks fr breakfast 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : 100% 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : ill pick u up in 10? 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : sure 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : thx 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : im up and in need of caffeine pick me up 2 

 

 

 

**[kitkatherine** ] > **[animeprotagonist]**

 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : hey b 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : glad u feeling better 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : hgfkjsl 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : did u tell everyone 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : lance woudlnt stop snapping me stupid shit last night 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : ok i mightve told him 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : m sorry i kno u dont like attention 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : its ok it made me smile 

 

**[kitkatherine]** ::0

 

**[kitkatherine]** :;) 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : no 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : hunks here ill see u in 5 

 

 

 

_8:30 am_

 

 

**_late night thoughts w keith_ **

 

 

**[sokka]** : U WENT TO STARBUCKS W OUT ME

 

**[sokka]** : my precious venti caramel mocha soy milk macchiato 2 pumps of vanilla, extra whip….left in the dust 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : uh yeah 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : we aint takin u with us w that order 

 

**[sokka]** : betrayed 

 

**[melaninmom]** : so 

 

**[melaninmom]** : i have some news 

 

**[kitkatherine]** : r u and shiro finally having a kid 

 

**[dadvoice]** : …

 

**[kitkatherine]** : fuck 

 

**[melaninmom]** : no 

 

**[melaninmom]** : Im starting a company! 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : allura im so happy for u :) :) 

 

**[sokka]** : congrats allura!! 

 

**[kitkatherine]:** thats actually sick!

 

**[melaninmom]** : thats not all

 

**[melaninmom]:** U could all work there if u want to!! 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : WHAT 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : holy shit i am so broke 

 

**[melaninmom]** : yes! 

 

**[melaninmom]** : its a cafe so i figured there would be enough roles to fill

 

**[dadvoice]** : whos in? 

 

**[nigelthornberry]** : I am! 

 

**[melaninmom]** : coran u own the building 

 

**[nigelthornberry]** : allura give me this moment 

 

**[hunkalovin]** : im so in

 

**[kitkatherine]** : me too

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : im down 

 

**[sokka]** : of course 

 

**[melaninmom]** : this is great! 

 

**[melaninmom]** : Its on the corner of 7th street and is gonna be called Alta

 

**[dadvoice]** : we decided it would be rly cool if everyone had a theme  


 

**[dadvoice]** : like a color dont go crazy

 

**[sokka]** : this is gonna be so lit 


	3. sake, sasuke, or sauce gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAND IM BACK BITCHES. I havent had the motivation to write in a while but i just saw some good movies and its FINALLY SUMMER meaning I can take it up again, maybe add some real plot. If ur followin up after me being adrift for half a year then ily.  
> also im throwing dates out bc id feel weird typing in november now that its july. `
> 
> Now let's get to it.

****

 

 

_9:00 am_

 

**[kitkatherine]** changed name to **[shortbitch]**

 

**[shortbitch]:** and im proud!! 

 

**[sokka]:** but why 

 

**[shortbitch]** changed **[sokka]** to **[ugly]**

 

**[ugly]:** and proud!! 

 

**[ugly]:** fuck no wait i didn't mean that 

 

**[ugly]:** it was a reference 

 

**[ugly]:** im hot 

 

**[ugly]** changed name to **[chingate]**

 

**[chingate]:** ha 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** lance y u so vulgar 

 

**[chingate]:** it was well deserved 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** fine 

 

 

_4:00 pm_

 

**[shortbitch]:** GUYS 

 

**[shortbitch]:** gUYS 

 

**[shortbitch]:** KEITHS A KOREABOO 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** AM NOT 

 

**[shortbitch]:** I WENT OVER AND HE WAS FUCKING JAMMING OUT TO KOREAN ROCK MUSIC 

 

**[dadvoice]:** i can confirm 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** JUST BC I LISTEN TO KOREAN MUSIC DOESNT MAKE ME A KBOO 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** i can confirm 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** day6 is good. 

 

**[shortbitch]:** HUNK NO

 

**[shortbitch]:** how could i have not known 

 

**[shortbitch]:** betrayed by the gays 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** pidge u kno im straight

 

**[shortbitch]:** yea but its more fun this way 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** hyuna would not stand for a gay to not like k music 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** whore. 

 

**[shortbitch]:** fuck u keith 

 

**[shortbitch]:** lets listenin to her right now 

 

**[chingate]:** did-

 

**[chingate]:** did keith just make pidge a kboo

 

**[dadvoice]:** can confirm 

 

**[shortbitch]:** LIKING KPOP DOESNT MAKE U A KBOO 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** can confirm 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** can confirm 

 

**[melaninmom]:** can confirm 

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** press f to pay your respects to lance 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** f

 

**[melaninmom]:** f

 

**[shortbitch]:** f

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** f

 

**[dadvoice]:** f 

 

**[chingate]:** i hate all of you. 

 

 

_7:30 pm_

 

**[melaninmom]:** girls 

 

**[shortbitch]:** yes mom 

 

**[melaninmom]:** we’re going to watch oceans8 

 

**[chingate]:** omg oceans8 was so badass, george clooney ily 

 

**[dadvoice]:** lance theres a new version out 

 

**[dadvoice]:** all girls 

 

**[dadvoice]:** we should totally see it allura 

 

**[melaninmom]:** shut your dirty feminist bf mouth this is a girls only event 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** woah allura im diggin the belittling shiro vibe 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** also im sorry but I've already seen it

 

**[melaninmom]:** thanks

 

**[melaninmom]:** also its ok keith of course u can see it!! 

 

**[melaninmom]:** just not shiro. 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** cool 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** can i come when u and katie go to see it 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** it was rly good 

 

**[melaninmom]:** tickets bought

 

**[shortbitch]:** yeeeeeee

 

 

_10:00 pm_

 

**[shortbitch]:** that was SO GOOD 

 

**[melaninmom]:** it was!!! 

 

**[dadvoice]:** i know i say not to swear but

 

**[dadvoice]:** fuck u guys 

 

**[chingate]:** yeah!! chingate!!!

 

**[dadvoice]:** lance. no swearing 

 

**[chingate]:** i hate u 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** I saw it with my moms it was so cool 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** i wish i was 9ball 

 

**[animeprotagonist]** : dont we all

 

**[shortbitch]** : i wanted to b constance 

 

**[melaninmom]:** I really liked lou! 

 

**[chingate]:** fuck it. shiro come over i pirated it 

 

**[dadvoice]:** Omw

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** im coming i wanna see it again 

 

**[shortbitch]:** me too 

 

**[melaninmom]:** me too

 

**[hunkalovin]:** count me in 

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** on my way! 

 

 

_11:00 am_

 

**[melaninmom]:** okay so the cafe opens in 2 weeks 

 

**[melaninmom]:** first order of business

 

**[melaninmom]:** i ordered everyone a cute little shirt in their color

 

**[melaninmom]:** if u can roller skate we’re having diner nights so ur gonna b on duty then 

 

**[melaninmom]:** time for a spiel, MUST READ: 1) we need a decently long playlist kinda chill vibes KEITH ur on that. 2) LANCE i need u to get the world out as quick and wildly as possible, we need customers that r locals. 3) KATIE we got a domain name but no serious website, pls amp it up! 4)HUNK I'm gonna need some help setting up all the machinery so stopping by anytime in the next week will be great. 5) shiro u better be practicing ur apple turn overs bc ull be making a bunch soon 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** ill be there wednesday!! 

 

**[shortbitch]:** on it rn 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** np allura 

 

**[chingate]:** ill get on that. also i can skate! 

 

**[dadvoice]:** i totally am. dont worry

 

 

 

_11:00 pm_

 

**[dadvoice]:** k guys its been a long week 

 

**[01110011]:** lets get drunk!!!!

 

**[shortbitch]:** how'd u change ur numbers w/o it sending a notif 

 

**[01110011]:** bitch shh

 

**[chingate]:** matt!!

 

**[chingate]:** uve been inactive all week hoe 

 

**[01110011]:** i had an essay due 

 

**[01110011]:** busy busy 

 

**[01110011]:** library and dip and library again over and over 

 

**[dadvoice]:** back to what i was saying 

 

**[dadvoice]:** and partially what matt got right 

 

**[dadvoice]:** les get dinner 

 

**[dadvoice]:** and some alchohol for the adults 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** booo u whjore m alrdeady drunk

 

**[chingate]:** woah there buddy 

 

**[melaninmom]:** im down for dinner 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** anyone know why keiths drunk 

 

**[dadvoice]:** nah. its good tho

 

**[dadvoice]:** ill sober him up for dinner 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** kfldsdjk if u cjan chatch meee

 

**[dadvoice]:** meet at bcd in 20, i gotta go find keith 

_3:00 am_

 

**[hunkalovin]:** wow I did not know how wild drunk keith was 

 

**[chingate]:** im pretty sure we had to pry him off the waiter at one point 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** i cannot believe allura decided if keith was wasted she should be too

 

**[shortbitch]:** and then matt too 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** i can hear u u know 

 

**[shortbitch]:** keith this is text 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** i can HEAR these letters 

 

**[shortbitch]:** okay keith

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** did u knosasuke’s nkame is actuly pronbounceed sauce gay 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** haha

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** sauce 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** gay 

 

**[chingate]:** what an eventful night 

 

**[hunkalovin]:** whew 


	4. praise god! hallelujah!.....im still depressed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey im active again hello 
> 
> aye ok so im totally projecting in this chapter bc it srsly has been a rough fucking month oh my god i literally havent felt this bad since 2 yrs ago but anyways 
> 
> hope u guys enjoy!
> 
> the tones have kinda darkened but i cant lose all playfulness 
> 
> also new brockhampton album pls so good   
> title of chapter references their song DISTRICT

 

_11:00 am_

 

**[dadvoice] > [animeprotagonist] **

 

**[dadvoice]:** Hey Keith 

 

**[dadvoice]:** I kno u dont wanna talk about this 

 

**[dadvoice]:** and I don’t wanna have to bring this up 

 

**[dadvoice]:** but everyones noticed ur relapsing 

 

**[dadvoice]:** and I’m worried about u 

 

 

_1:00 pm_

 

**[dadvoice] > [animeprotagonist]**

 

**[dadvoice]:** hey keith I hope u know we’re always here for u tho 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** dw bout it shiro. 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** its not like last time ok 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** its just been a rough month 

 

**[dadvoice]:** fine I wont push 

 

**[dadvoice]:** but rly rly rly remember u can talk to any of us about anything 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** ya i know 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** sry fr worrying u 

 

 

_5:00 pm_

 

**_[chingate]_ ** _changed chat name to:_ **_Stan loona be gay or die (hunk u r ok)_ **

 

 

**[chingate]:** I take back that thing about kboos 

**[hunkalovin]:** thanks for accepting me 

 

**[melaninmom]:** we’re just a ragtag bunch of kboos weebs redditors and shitty drivers huh 

 

**[shortbitch]:** allura 

 

**[shortbitch]:** no ones ever said anything about reddit….. 

 

**[melaninmom]:** Katie sweetie

 

**[melaninmom]:** ur lucky to not have to spend so much time with coran 

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** what is so bad about reddit! 

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** it is just a normal website!

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** are you guys making fun of me for being old 

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** im so distraught 

 

**[shortbitch]:** thanks for warning us allura 

 

**[melaninmom]:** np! 

 

**[nigelthornberry]:** >:( 

 

 

_7:00 pm_

 

**[animeprotagonist] > [chingate] **

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** hey uhh 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** nvmn

 

**[chingate]:** keith what 

 

**[chingate]:** Keith respond hoe 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** nah its fine ignore that 

 

**[chingate]:** Keith whore u never text me outta the blue what did u wanna say pls 

 

**[chingate]:** cmon im sure u didn’t do that on accident n ur just hesitating on saying whatever bc ur nervous 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** uh 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** ok maybe ur right 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** fine 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** I was gonna ask if u wanted to come over n watch worth it buzzfeed together 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** I would ask shiro or Katie but they’ve both been rly overbearing lately 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** sry to bother u I just don’t wanna b alone rn 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** god u can ignore all this if u want 

 

**[animeprotagonist]:** honestly pretend I didn’t send these 

 

**[chingate]:** dude ur not bothering me I like hanging out w u 

 

**[chingate]:** ill b over in 10 

 

**[chingate]:** and I’m bringing taiyaki 

 

 

_2:00 am_

 

**_Stan loona be gay or die (hunk u r ok)_ **

 

 

**_[chingate]_ ** _has changed name to_ **_[steven lim]_ **

 

**_[animeprotagonist]_ ** _has changed name to_ **_[andrew ilnyckyj]_ **

 

 

**[steven lim]:** good posting everyone 

 

 

_8:00 am_

 

**_[steven lim] > [shortbitch]_ ** _and_ **_[dadvoice]_ **

**[steven lim]:** hey guys 

 

**[steven lim]:** i kno ur both rly worried bout Keith 

 

**[steven lim]:** and i hate to say this to u guys bc I am too 

 

**[steven lim]:** but I think u should tone it down a lil 

 

**[dadvoice]:** lance as much as I trust ur judgement I think toning it down is exactly what we don’t need to do 

 

**[steven lim]:** ok look 

 

**[steven lim]:** i get u being hesitant 

 

**[steven lim]:** i get that u wanna watch over him like a hawk n all bc god I don’t think I could handle it he hurts himself like that ever again 

 

**[steven lim]:** but I was over at his place last night and we spent a lot of time talking about everything 

 

**[steven lim]:** and he literally cried in front of me 

 

**[steven lim]:** CRIED 

 

**[steven lim]:** and i think yeah maybe we’ll put in the effort to be there for him but we have to give him his space and freedom or else he’ll buckle under the fucking pressure ur putting him on to be perfect 

 

**[steven lim]:** and u and pidge haven’t been doing that as of late okay 

 

**[shortbitch]:** oh 

 

**[shortbitch]:** ofc lance I didn’t think about it that way 

 

**[shortbitch]:** god I feel so bad 

 

**[shortbitch]:** I’m just so worried about him and I don’t know how to help him correctly 

 

**[steven lim]:** its bc ur not supposed to b helping him, ur not supposed to b fixing him. Ur supposed to b there for him when he needs you and ur supposed to let him know he can always talk to u 

 

**[steven lim]:** and not in a literal ‘hey I’m here for u’ way either shiro 

 

**[steven lim]:** he’s gotta have trust in us and I don’t think we’ve been giving him that either 

 

**[steven lim]:** and man i sound hypocritical bc I don’t think I’ve been doing it right either 

 

**[steven lim]:** im scared and worried and I care about him so much it physically hurts to see him so low like this 

 

**[steven lim]:** but we all gotta do better okay 

 

**[dadvoice]:** yeah ok 

 

**[dadvoice]:** I see where I might’ve gone wrong 

 

**[dadvoice]:** I get it lance. Its so hard to care about someone and not be able to fix their pain 

 

**[dadvoice]:** lets take him out fr lunch k 

 

**[dadvoice]:** show him we’re not pressuring him or anything 

 

**[steven lim]:** yea ok ill ask him when he wakes up 

 

**[shortbitch]:** uhhhh 

 

**[steven lim]:** we stayed up rly late last night watching worth it 

 

**[steven lim]:** i fell asleep here he’s still asleep 

 

**[steven lim]:** he’ll prob b awake soon tho so lets go at like 12 

 

**[steven lim]:** dumplings? 

 

**[dadvoice]:** sounds good

 

**[dadvoice]:** and thank u lance 

 

 

_4:00 pm_

**_Stan loona be gay or die (hunk u r ok)_ **

 

**[01110011]:** I GOT US ALL BROCKHAMPTON TICKETS 

 

**[andrew ilnyckyj]:** _holy shit._


End file.
